So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Randomize
