don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
So. Much. Porn.
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