just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
