she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
