She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
