My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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