I puked a lego.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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