you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
