I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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