i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
