Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
