Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
