I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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