I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
