If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Randomize
