you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
Barsexuality is the new black.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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