hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
