I feel like abortions should bother me more
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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