Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
3 2 1 whiskey
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
