So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
