he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
