Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Randomize
