$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
