I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
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