The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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