i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
