i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
