The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
