That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
