Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Two words: blizzard sex
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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