i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
