i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
