It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
honey bunches of taint.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
