we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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