How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Randomize
