I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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