if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
