you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
