I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
My boob is missing a layer of skin
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
