There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
