she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Randomize
