What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
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