Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
