its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
