My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
