I must be too annoying 4 u.
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
