I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
