My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
