I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize
