I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
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