I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
