Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Randomize
