Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry sillygoosicles hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(828): View more from North Carolina

God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.

Fav 25 3795 1244
share tweet
(540): View more from Virginia

Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.

Fav 18 1325 3725
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(978): View more from Massachusetts

Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.

(1-978): View more from Massachusetts

Wait until you see the roof.

Fav 34 4830 1846
share tweet
(785): View more from Kansas

Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him

Fav 31 1928 6790
share tweet
(774): View more from Massachusetts

Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless

Fav 4 2099 917
share tweet
(608): View more from Wisconsin

She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out

Fav 6 749 1178
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(843): View more from South Carolina

Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors

Fav 12 705 1787
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(201): View more from New Jersey

If I had your ass I would rule the world

Fav 0 54 1
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(765): View more from Indiana

He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face

(812): View more from Indiana

Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!

Fav 0 105 9
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT