u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Houston, we have a squirter
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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