please come you make the beer taste better
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize