I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
