Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I enjoy the company of your penis
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
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