Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Randomize
