I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Randomize