yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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