K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
