GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
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