only if we run a train.
done.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Send help, water and tortillas.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
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