Three words: puerto rican gang bang
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I believe in your delicious
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
