I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Life is so much better after having sex.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
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