so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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