Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
